How to Encourage Independent Play for your toddler
You are a busy and exhausted mom and just want a minute to yourself while your toddler plays independently. You are in the right place! Here is exactly how to encourage the important skill of independent play time for your toddler.
Being a mom is a full-time job, and sometimes finding a moment to breathe can seem impossible. However, encouraging independent playtime in toddlers and young children can provide both you and your little one with some much-needed respite. Here are some practical tips and detailed steps to help you empower your toddler to engage in independent play while giving yourself a well-deserved break.
Independent play can also be referred to as solo play, solitary play or individual play. They all are referring to the same type of play.
What is Independent Play?
Independent play is a type of play where children are given the opportunity to explore and engage in activities on their own without adult guidance or interference.
This type of play helps children develop their social, emotional, physical and cognitive skills as they learn how to problem solve, create and think independently.
Benefits of Independent Play
Through independent play, children learn to trust themselves, build self-confidence, have increased creativity, better problem solving skills, and improved concentration and develop their fine motor skills. Independent play is beneficial for the overall child’s development.
The freedom to explore and make their own decisions allows children to develop a sense of control and autonomy, which can help them grow in positive ways.
Solitary play teaches them that they don’t need to be “feed” entertainment, but instead learn how to have fun on their own with their own preferences in a safe space.
Encouraging independent play is beneficial for both the child and parent as it gives a healthy separation from parent and child. (AKA: Gives you a break!)
Related Post: Important Benefits of Independent Play for Toddlers
Importance of Independent Play:
Promotes healthy growth as the child grows
Next I will discuss the benefits, but at the top of the list is the healthy mental development that occurs during Individual play.
If you continue doing Individual Play as your child ages, the continual development is amazing.
Provides an atmosphere without over-stimulation
Our society, and especially our children, are constantly over stimulated. Over stimulation is not good for brain development, especially during these young formable years.
Having consistent Solitary Play is a great routine for your children to have reduce over stimulation.
Blanket time and playpen time offers structured environments for independent playing
It is good for children to learn playing in a specific area, with limited freedoms. This mimics school structure and is great to start teaching this skill early.
Believe it or not, kids like boundaries. They may want to test them, but ultimately, boundaries provide security and safety to babies and children.
It sets the stage, and becomes a learned skill for future quiet time
I can not tell you how amazing this learned skill is, as it great for older children too. Nine years later, my oldest still has the ability to sit independently in his room and play for hours.
It is a learned skill, takes time and practice, but it reaps years of rewards.
When to start Individual Play?
Most babies by age of 5 months are ready to start Individual Play. The baby needs to be able to hold their head up and play / hold age appropriate toys on their own.
This is an ideal age because they are not yet mobile, so it’s an easier time to learn this skill and to know what it feels like to have moments out of eye sight from mom or dad.
While 5 months, may seem like a young age, they are more than capable of starting to learn this amazing skill. But of course, children of all ages can learn the amazing skill of Individual play and greatly benefit from it.
How to Start or Encourage Independent Play for your toddler
Independent play is one of my most favorite mom hacks! So often moms just need a few minutes to ourselves, and solitary play provides just that.
Here are the best ways to teach your toddler or young child the skill of individual play.
Step 1: Set Up a Safe and Stimulating Environment
Create a designated play area in your home where your toddler can explore freely without constant supervision. Make sure this space is childproofed and filled with age-appropriate toys and activities that will capture their interest.
Step 2: Establish a Daily Routine
Consistency is key when it comes to fostering independent play. Set aside specific times throughout the day when your toddler can engage in solo play, such as during quiet time or while you’re cooking dinner. By establishing a routine, your child will learn to anticipate and embrace these moments of independent play.
Individual play is a learned skill. Many young children prefer being near their parents, played with or entertained. So this will take some practice and getting used to.
The more regularly practiced the quicker your little one will pick up this skill and master it.
Step 3: Eliminate any obstacles
Make sure baby or child is fed, not tired, and diaper is changed. For a successful individual play time, make sure you’ve eliminated any potential obstacles that could derail and successful play time.
Step 4: Start small
Start small with just 5 or 10 minutes of alone time and then gradually extend the time. As baby and child learn this skill and get more comfortable, you can start to increase the time.
6 – 18 months: On Becoming Babywise says to start with five to ten minutes per day. “Over the next two to three weeks, work up to 20 minutes, then 30 minutes. After a month, consider extending the time to 45 minutes.”
18 months – 3years: try and shoot for one hour in length or longer is your child is doing really well with Individual play.
3 – 5 years: Children should be able to go as long as two hours of Individual play by this age.
Step 5: Encourage Exploration and Creativity
Provide your toddler with open-ended toys and materials that encourage imaginative play, such as blocks, art supplies, or dress-up costumes. Avoid toys that are overly stimulating or require constant adult supervision, as the goal is to promote independence.
You may want to think, “more is better”, but in this situation the opposite is true. Your baby or child will actually be more successful if you limit the amount of options you provide.
Stick to just a few developmentally appropriate toys. (trust me on this!)
Step 6: Stay close by but out of sight
When you are first introducing this concept, stay close, but out of sight of your baby and child. Make sure you can see your baby but your baby can’t see you. A baby monitor works great for this if in their room.
Step 7: Lead by Example
Show your toddler how to engage in independent play by modeling it yourself. Sit nearby and read a book, work on a quiet activity, or simply observe from a distance while your child explores their surroundings. Your presence will provide reassurance while still allowing them to play independently.
Step 8: Offer Gentle Guidance and Support
While the goal is to encourage independent play, it’s important to offer support and guidance when needed. If your toddler seems unsure of what to do or becomes frustrated, offer gentle suggestions or redirect their attention to a different activity. Avoid stepping in too quickly, as this can hinder their problem-solving skills and confidence.
Step 9: Celebrate Small Victories
Acknowledge and praise your toddler’s efforts to engage in independent play, no matter how brief or simple. Celebrate small victories and encourage them to continue exploring and discovering new ways to play on their own.
Step 10: Have realistic expectations
Some days babies and little children are just having “harder” days. If baby just had a shot, or is getting over a cold, or had a short nap, these may be indicators that Solitary time may not last as long as previous days. That is ok. Some days will last longer than others.
If your baby cries, go over and soothe and get her back interested on the toys and try walking away again. Talk to your baby saying “mommy is just right here doing dishes, this is your time to play and explore”.
After a few attempts, you can tray again the next day at around the same time. It will eventually click, but for some babies it might take several consistent days of trying.
Independent Activities
There should be no screen time during independent time. You will want to provide a variety of STEM toys and open-ended play activities. Giving your child something to do is key when it comes to encouraging solitary play.
There are many different great activities that encourage creative play, as long as they are not electronics and can all be done without the need of adult supervision or help. Such as wooden blocks, cardboard boxes, scraps of paper, and even some simple household items like a large wooden spoon. They don’t need to be fancy or over complicated.
But make sure the activity is age-appropriate.
Some of the best toys by age:
Age: 6 – 18 months:
- Stacking rings and building block set
- Stacking rings
- Building blocks
- STEAM Musical Elephant
- Sensory rattle and teether
- Developmental Bumpy Ball
- Sensory books
Ages 1 – 2 years
Age: 3+ years
- Magnet Tiles
- Alphabet, Numbers & Colors puzzle
- Wooden Patter Blocks Jigsaw Puzzle
- Tinker Toys
- Brain Flakes
Rotate Toys
If the young child or toddler feels it is a new toy, they will play with it longer. To avoid constantly feeling like you need to purchase new toys, because that is not the solution, rotate your child’s toys once you feel they are not playing with them as long.
I did a weekly toy rotation with my four children for years, especially during the toddler years when attention span was so much shorter. A stimulating activity will get your toddler full attention and a longer time of independent play.
Independent play for toddlers simple tips
- Make sure baby, toddler, or child is ready for Solitary time. Rested, fed, diaper changed.
- At first, parent should stay close by within eye shot.
- Just a few STEM, age appropriate, developmental toys.
- Start small
My personal testimony of Solitary Play
Individual play and sleep training are two of my favorite mom hacks, because they benefit the child tremendously, but also the parents.
It was so nice to know that at times throughout the day I could have my kids do Individual Play and I knew it was growing amazing skills for them, all while giving me the much needed break each day.
I was able to stay caught up on household chores, or take a shower, or squeeze a workout in, make dinner with no interruptions.
Having four children within 3 years, I truly believe Solitary Play is a gift for both parents and child.
After years of practice, my children ages 5-9, still do individual play often. Once the skill is learned it lasts a lifetime.
Solitary Play for toddlers
Empowering your toddler to engage in independent play is not only beneficial for their development but also for your well-being as a busy mom. By setting up a safe and stimulating environment, establishing a routine, and offering gentle guidance and support, you can help your child become more confident, creative, and self-reliant. So take a deep breath, mama, and embrace the beauty of independent play for both you and your little one.
Are you ready to start introducing Solitary Play with your kids? Do you need help with a step by step guide?
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